Ultimate empowerment...

When I found out I was pregnant with my second baby, I was absolutely overjoyed. I was also terrified. I had no idea how this pregnancy would go down, and I was equally as terrified of the delivery. I couldn't let the same thing happen again.

The pregnancy went pretty smoothly...  Had a few minor complications in the first and second trimester but other than that it was very enjoyable. I had one bout with pre-term "labor" but honestly it was like having really regular braxton hicks contractions. I was given an injection in the hospital to stop them (incase they ended up causing unwanted progression), and it worked for all of 8 hours. The next day I was called back in for an exam and my Dr. prescribed a medication to take at home when I feel them coming on again.

I filled the prescription, went home and found myself having contractions again. I took half the recommended dose and that's when the trouble happened. I was highly sensitive to the medication and my blood pressure dropped. I felt sick, dizzy, lightheaded, and I found myself focusing on staying awake... just like when I had the epidural. When it finally wore off I was scared to death and decided to throw the meds away. I was terrified thinking about what could have happened had I taken the full dosage.

At my next appointment my Dr. asked how the medication had worked for me. I told him it made me feel like I was going to die. Ultimately, I realized the epidural was no longer an option for me and I needed to prepare myself mentally and emotionally for a drug free completely normal and natural birth.

I came across some very informative material. "The Business of Being Born" was a huge inspiration. There were so many wonderful women that opened their hearts and shared the most intimate details of their experiences, and provided the viewers with the comfort in knowing it can be done. Also, the BEST book I've ever read on this topic was by the most incredible midwife ever... Her book titled "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" (by Ina May Gaskin) totally changed everything I thought about childbirth and the mind body connection. After reading all of the stories, information, and facts about natural birth, I actually felt prepared... excited if you will!! I felt ready. I felt ready to give my daughter a relaxed, safe, and normal entry into the world... because it was best for her.

As the time got closer, I did start to freak out a little about what I was about to go through. At this point, I knew I had done all of the necessary research and all that was left to do was pray. I prayed constantly, and I felt at peace.

From about 37 weeks to my 39 week check, I had been walking around at 3-4 cm and almost fully effaced. My Dr. was very surprised that my waters were still intact. At 38 weeks Jeff came home from his guard drill on a 4 day pass because we were concerned he was too far away to make it to the birth. Another week passed, and Jeff was having a hard time dealing with the leaders in his company. There was talk about him possibly having to go back and potentially missing the birth. So we went to my 39 week check and talked to my Dr. about our options. We decided to schedule an induction for early the next morning via artificial rupture of membranes. In an attempt to help get things going, my Dr. did an intense membrane sweep. Instantly I was having mild contractions that stayed very irregular and very sporadic.

At that point, I ruled early labor out because I was totally in denial. We came home, got everything together and took Joey down to his grandma and grandpa's house so we could get some sleep before the big day. We put Joey to bed, and then we went home. I tried to relax but I was way too anxious. I was absolutely exhausted though, so thankfully that worked in my favor when I finally went to bed. I was still having random contractions that had begun to get a tiny bit more uncomfortable.

Somewhere around midnight, I woke up to a very strong contraction. I had to breathe through it, and Jeff woke up with me to help me through. As soon as it was over, I was asleep. This went on every 40 minutes to an hour until we got up at 3:00 am. I got up, got ready, and didn't have any contractions at all until about 4:10 am. They hit me like a freight train and I had to really focus on relaxing to minimize the unnecessary pain. We called the hospital to make sure our induction was still on time, and they pushed it back to 7:00 am. We tried watching a movie and getting some sleep, but I was extremely uncomfortable. By the time 4:45 am rolled around, Jeff and I decided it was time to go as my contractions were then 8 minutes apart for 35-ish minutes. We called the hospital back and got in the car. Not ten minutes away from home, my contractions began coming every 3-4 minutes and were intensifying.

Our one hour drive took us only 40 minutes (as Jeff was speeding), and we were immediately taken back to a room. As soon as the reality hit that I was in labor and about to have a baby, I got sick. I threw up everything in my stomach and some and I had never felt sicker. There is nothing more difficult than trying to relax (and breathe) through contractions while puking. After a while, they inserted the IV catheter and left it at that as I had NO desire to have my mobility compromised by an IV line. The nurse checked my progression and hooked me up to the monitors for a bit. I was already 7 cm. This was MUSIC TO MY EARS. I was so happy I had already progressed so far. After I had been monitored for a while, Jamie, Jill, and Maddy arrived. They were such a huge help!

Finally I was able to get in the tub and attempt some relaxation. Everyone was so supportive. I labored in there for a little while. It was so nice, and it helped me SOO much. I highly recommend it to anyone attempting a natural birth.

As soon as I hit transition, I knew it was probably time to get out of the tub. It got very intense, and very difficult. I didn't lose my ability to cope though because I was overwhelmed with support. I was still very proud of myself.

My Dr. finally came in and broke my water, and at 7:50 am (maybe 5 minutes after my waters were ruptured and only two pushes) my gorgeous and perfect baby girl was in my arms. She was perfect, and she let out a nice big cry and came out flailing around. It was the best sound I've ever heard. That moment when they placed her on my chest and I knew she was just fine and they weren't taking her away, was absolutely the most incredible thing. I knew that I had given my daughter the best start at life that I could have, and it helped me to have a little bit of closure after the experience I had with Joey. At that point, I knew I could handle anything, and I knew that I could forgive myself for not staying strong for Joey. It was absolutely beautiful, and I would do it again every day of my life in order to have a safe and healthy baby.

I had never experienced anything so powerful and intense in my life. I knew how strong I could be, and I am proud of the fact that I chose to have a natural birth, and I stuck with it. I did what 95% of women in America do not do. It was awesome and I can't wait to do it again.

Empowerment means so many things to me. But that is the only word to describe what I got out of my experience aside from the most beautiful and wonderful little girl I could have ever asked for. Women don't always realize that birth does not harm them. It is natural, normal, and totally okay. It is not an illness or a problem. It is wonderful, and it can be incredibly rewarding.

After I had Annabelle, and had some time to think about both of my experiences, I decided that I had to find a way to get through to other women. To help them through the process, learn about their options, and learn about their body and what happens during labor and delivery. I decided to take a birth doula class and I realized that if this is all I do with my life as far as a career goes... I would be fine with that. I don't think I could love a job more than one where I get to help women find empowerment and do the one thing they probably didn't think they could do. I think every woman should have the love and support that I had during my deliveries. I could not have done it without my family there. It was beautiful and it was perfect. If I can give that to another woman, that would be my dream job.

SO. There you go. Empowerment. THIS is why I did what I did and do what I do. That is why all I want to talk about is birth and how incredible it can be if only proper love, support, and information is made available. I think it's very important for women to know about all aspects of birth. Aspects that sometimes health care providers do not talk about. **I am in no way saying that health care providers are to blame for all that is bad in the way we give birth, but sometimes they are either unable to provide the information or it's just not conveyed properly to their patients.** It is the woman's responsibility to know these things... it's important to make informed decisions and to know what's going on with your body as well as what's going into it.

I do hope that one day there will be a change. That more women will have more support, and that they too will support and empower more women. This totally sounds super earthy and maybe even a little hippy-ish... but it's what I'm passionate about and it's right from my heart. Women are capable of giving birth naturally. They just need support, and they need faith. They need to know that someone loves them, supports them, and has faith in them.

Just thought I'd add a few photos from this empowering experience that I definitely did not post on Facebook. These photos mean a lot to me. They say so much. A picture really says a lot about a moment.

This one was taken shortly after we got to the hospital. 

The fruit of my labor. Our first moment together was absolutely priceless. The pain was completely gone, and I had the most incredible little girl in my arms... she captured my heart.