2 months!!

How has time just flown by? I really can't believe we are into November, and I have a two month old baby girl. She was so tiny and new just yesterday... how did I miss everything? I'm sooo thankful that I have the ability to take pictures of my children as they grow and learn... and especially because they change so quickly.

Macie has grown so much, and oh how she's changed. She weighed in at 10 lbs 6 oz and she was 22.5 inches long at her 8 week check up. Her newborn clothes are starting to shrink.... she's kind of funny because she's my only baby to outgrow her pants before she outgrows her onesies... typically my babies have short stubby legs and a long torso. Macie seems to have longer legs and a normal size torso. But I don't know. That could change. So we're starting to add more three month clothing to her wardrobe, which by the way was very overwhelming to sort through. This little baby has more clothes than all of us. Seriously. The sad part is that I even went through and purged some of it because I simply don't have space for all of it. Between getting Annie and Maddy's baby clothes as well as getting new clothes as gifts, she now has more clothes than she'll probably be able to wear. I am soooooo thankful!! This is such a great problem to have!!!

As far as her development goes, Macie girl is right on track. She smiles (she first smiled at me when she was 6-7 weeks old), coos, and kicks her little feet when she's excited about something. She loves to look at faces, watch the flashing/colors on the TV, and she loves when her siblings talk to her. She loves when anyone talks to her really. She's such a sweet little pumpkin. Macie is by far my most cuddly baby... so that makes it very difficult to set her down. I would hold her all day if I could. As a result of being held 75% of her day, she hasn't really had much tummy time to practice her attempts at rolling over. I'm thinking I should probably encourage some more tummy time at this point... she needs to strengthen her neck so she can lift that big noggin and start rolling over. I think Annie rolled over at 8 weeks old, however she also was a lot closer to her due date than Macie was... so maybe that plays a small part in things. I can't remember when Joey rolled for the first time... I don't even remember when they're "supposed" to do these things... 3-5 months? They all develop in their own time so I'm really not too worried about when she does everything. Just as long as she does it all. :)

Anyway, my post-partum health seems to be kind of shaky lately. Literally. This anxiety I've been battling has been difficult to deal with, and I'm just now realizing how much I've just been adapting to it. I'm slowly learning how to deal with it. I'm trying really hard to find some time to myself, and I'm really trying to get better sleep whenever I can. By "better" I mean getting to bed at a decent hour whenever I can... That's difficult because I have to choose between time to myself and sleep... both are a must. It's hard trying to do everything when I'm by myself so much. I really don't know how single moms do it all. Being a stay at home mom is extremely hard, and it's pretty easy to forget yourself, your value, and it's easy to feel really unappreciated at times. So I've been working hard and maintaining my focus on the fact that I'm very needed, very loved, and very valued. Doesn't fix my anxiety about everything, but it's slowly getting a bit easier. Part of it has to do with Macie sleeping about 4 hours between nighttime feeds now. Hopefully things will get I've recently started jogging on my treadmill. I think it's helped a bit. I feel better, and I know it's a must. Especially since I've plateaued with my weight loss. I've lost almost all the weight I gained with Macie... only a couple pounds to go. But I'd like to tone up and lose a bit more weight so I can be back to where I'm comfortable. I'll get there. Anyway, other than that I'm hanging in there. My blood work yielded some weird results two times in a row... So I had an ultrasound on my kidneys and bladder to make sure all is well there. Everything came back normal so that's good, but if things are still off in a couple months I'll be headed in to see a specialist. 

All in all, I really can't complain too much. I'm sure it sounds like an awful lot of complaining, and that's never my intent. I am so grateful for everything I'm blessed with. I am thankful for every moment I get to spend with my children. It isn't always easy, but I realize that even those difficult times are a blessing too. I'm simply sharing where I'm at... I'm not going to sugarcoat anything. Too many moms make things look so peachy and perfect all the time, when in reality, there is no mom that has it that easy all the time. It just doesn't happen.

One super positive thing, breastfeeding is still going beautifully. Macie has yet to have a drop of formula which is super pleasing to me. Not only for her health, but also for my bank account. That crap is pricey. I'm still learning all the time... I've recently learned some new things about milk storage which would have come in handy before I had to throw out half of my frozen milk stash. :( Super bummer since a good portion was the "first milk" which is basically liquid gold for Macie. Super sad. But she's still getting breast milk and that's what matters.

Anyway, here's to month three!! Thanks for reading friends!! God bless!! 

Ps- here are some more new pics of our sweet girl!! 

Macie's birth pictures!

I got Macie's birth pictures back today! They were absolutely phenomenal. I will cherish these photos forever. My friend and photographer, Amber (Tres Birds Photography) captured the moment beautifully and tastefully. I can't even express how much I love these photos. To relive that incredible moment has been so fulfilling to me. Anyway, here are my pictures. I can't stop looking at them!

Macie Lee's Birth

August 31st, 2013

3:35 am

The nurse who delivered Macie. She was absolutely wonderful! I never would have known that she was a new nurse.The best part, her name is Faith!

Our first moment together. 

This moment was absolutely unforgettable. I was so amazed at what I had just done and that I had a beautiful baby girl in my arms. There were so many emotions running through me, I was laughing and crying at the same time. It was amazing.

The room was filled so full of sweetness. There wasn't a person in the room who didn't have a smile on their face. 

A special moment. Totally lost in time. 

No words for this one.

Our doctor on call arrived. She was soooo nice. I love that everyone just sat and enjoyed the moment with us.

I'm in love with this picture. 

Auntie getting a good look at her new niece!

Tiny wrinkly feet!! 

That hat... LOVE!!

Grandma and Macie.

Auntie and Macie.

6 weeks

I can't believe our baby girl is a month and a half old already!! It's going by too fast. She's grown so much! I'm not sure about her weight as of now, but I'd guess she's about 9lbs now. She's definitely getting longer because her newborn pants and sleepers are starting to get a little small length wise.

As far as development goes, she's starting to become more alert. She loves to look at faces, and she is starting to smile at us every now and again. She has the cutest dimples!

Aside from her development, she's been breastfeeding wonderfully! This is the most successful I've ever been with breastfeeding. I'm proud to say that she has yet to have a drop of formula! She has received all nourishment from me. I have to say, it feels great to bypass the formula aisle.

As for why we have been successful? I think it has a lot to do with less stress regarding my baby's health, more confidence as a mom, and we haven't really used a bottle very much. We also waited quite a bit longer before introducing it... She also hates the bottle and tolerates pacifiers. She uses pacifiers when she's eaten so much that she throws up but still wants to comfort suck. Needless to say, things are going well and it feels great to know that she's getting breast milk only.

Now that a little time has passed, things are starting to get a bit easier. It's been tough on me getting through this transition simply because of Jeff's work schedule. It has really taken its toll on me physically since I'm up with Macie throughout the night and up during the day with the big kids, but we are getting through it. I try to take naps when I can and relax when there's some down time. I'm slowly finding balance.

I also saw my Dr recently about an insomnia issue. It definitely stems from a hormonal issue which has left me dealing with a number of funky things. But with a few supplements and some medicine I've been able to find some normalcy with my body. I've also started a new birth control pill which has seemed to help a bit. Praying for a bit of relief in the coming months, but all in all I don't have much to complain about. I'm very thankful for my beautiful children and my wonderful hubby.

One thing I have to note, is that the chiropractor is an amazing tool in the life of a fussy baby. Seriously, after a couple of weeks with a pretty unhappy baby, I finally thought to take her in and it made a huge difference. She had a small kink in her neck and back but he easily manipulated her spine back in place. As a result, my fussy baby is now a happy girl! She's eating better, she's sleeping better, and she will even take a nap in her own bed so I can get a few things done. Its been great! So, if you ever have a fussy baby, take him/her to see an experienced chiropractor! You won't regret it!

Anyway, that's about it for now. Hope everyone has been enjoying their week. God bless my friends!

One month!

I'm finding it hard to believe how fast this month has flown by. It's really crazy. Part of me is a little sad because I feel like I didn't have enough time to enjoy the newness of our new baby... but at the same time I'm anxious to really get the hang of everything... This transition has not exactly been easy for any of us. Not to say that we don't absolutely adore our new little princess, it's just been hard to get the hang of juggling three kids, spending time with my husband, taking care of my house and putting food on the table. It's tough... Not to mention, I'm also our baby's food source.

Yes... breast feeding. Not as easy as one would think. It is very much a challenge, and there are some very frustrating moments. I've had a particularly difficult time in the past, and I really wanted to be successful this time. I read a lot more about it and decided I needed to seek help from professionals. As of today, Macie has been exclusively breast fed and now weighs 8 lbs 3 oz. This is a HUGE success for me. Might not seem like a lot to others, but at this point with my last two babies, they both had their first bottles of formula because my supply dipped. Reasons for that are partly my fault and partly due to circumstances that were out of my control. Regardless, it's been going very well, and I could not be more pleased! The lactation nurse told me she was very pleased with Macie's weight gain, especially because she wasn't latching exactly right. She also has a high pallet, which causes me a bit more discomfort, so she was very pleased with our success so far. I do hope to continue to breast feed at least until one year... maybe a little longer. We'll see how it goes. I just don't want to have to spend any money on formula... and it will help me to feel better about my past unsuccessful attempts with nursing my kids.

Anyway... I'm not going to lie. I'm having a tough time. I'm not even going to play it off like I'm transitioning like a super mom. It's pretty dang hard getting the hang of much of anything at this point. I'm so incredibly sleep deprived right now... Between insomnia, a baby waking up every two hours, and having to be up all day with the kids, it's safe to say I've been wearing thin. I'm trying so hard to sleep when I can, but it's downright difficult, and as a result, I'm not only mentally exhausted, I'm physically exhausted which has manifested itself in several different ways. So please, friends, pray for me to find some sleep. My body needs it badly.

One thing I'm struggling with in particular (aside from sleep issues), is the fact that my house and living quarters can no longer be as perfect as I'm used to having them. I can't mop every day, nor can I vacuum as much as I like, my bathroom isn't as tidy as I like it to be, my kitchen counters have clutter (one of my biggest pet peaves), it's hard to keep my laundry under control and there are always dirty dishes that need be taken care of. Jeff says I'm OCD when it comes to how clean the house is... yes... I admit it. I have an issue... so naturally when things aren't exactly right, it causes me stress which I'm really trying to work through. I can't do it all, and that's okay. I just need to accept it and move on.

Anyhow, that's about it for an update. My kids are adjusting slowly, but very well surprisingly. They definitely have their moments, and I feel like a terrible mom more often than I used to. It seems like I have less time to play with them and enjoy them which is very hard on me. I feel like most of the time I'm disciplining, scolding, and refereeing because they fight like cats and dogs lately. And some nights, I'm counting the minutes til bed time. It didn't used to be like that. Makes me sad, but I know it will pass as time goes on and we get into a better rhythm with things. It's funny, I should have expected this. I've had two kids before Macie, and it felt the same way. (Except for when Joey was born... I just had first time mom adjustment issues when he was born).

I hate to sound like a whiner, or a complainer. That is not my intention in the least. I am so incredibly thankful for my three beautiful blessings I call my children. I am thankful for my husband... I'm truly thankful for everything I have. I know that I am blessed immensely. I'm truly just being honest... giving the raw truth about the transition to being a mommy of three. I absolutely love my kids, but it is a tough job being a mommy to three small kids. I'm not a super hero. I'm the average mom, and I'm being honest when I say it's hard and I've had a tough time. I'm grateful, but I'm so worn out. Please pray for me to find some rest and that my body can get back in order like it needs to be. Thank you friends for following me! God bless you all!

4 weeks!!

Time is just flying by. Seriously, at the end of every day I'm just shocked at how fast my day went. I'm also shocked when I sit and look at how I managed my day.

Some days I feel like I had no time with my big kids... I haven't been able to play with them as much or even get sufficient amounts of cuddles in. It's tough on me and I know it's tough on them too. Hopefully we'll find a little more balance with that in the coming weeks...

The toughest part about it all, is that miss Macie Lee does NOT like to be set down ever. Period. Rightfully so, I mean, I carried her constantly for the first 37 weeks of her life... that's all she's known. It's a scary world when you can't see much, you can't move very well, and you have limited ways to communicate. But honestly, because she's so very attached and loves me soooo so much, it's hard to maintain normalcy when I only have one hand to do everything with. Admittedly, she does have to cry for a few minutes on occasion before I can settle in and focus solely on her and her newborn needs. People get pretty judgey about that. Go ahead. I've decided to make a conscious effort not to care about what everyone else thinks of my methods of parenting. Transitioning to three kids is hard work. (Every transition is a challenge, but it's a different set of challenges every time). It's a lot to handle, my plate is full, and I'm learning to divide myself among THREE babies now. Not just two... THREE. AND my husband requires my attention as well!! Sometimes, I have to make sure my big kids are occupied first before Macie can get my full attention without me trying to scold and mediate between my older babies because things have turned into a mad house. It's just tough. I love love love that the Lord has blessed me with these three precious children, and I wouldn't change a thing. But I'm here to tell all of you, it is tough.

So there you go. Mommies, soon to be mommies, mommies adding to their pack of kiddlets, friends trying to become a mommy: IT'S TOUGH... So don't beat yourself up. Have a good meltdown. Cry a lot. It really helps. You will feel like a crappy mom at times. It happens. We all go through it. If you say you've never felt like that before, you're lying to yourself. I have had so many women who've told me they're having a hard time and feel like a failure. It's okay to feel that way, but know that you're not a failure. I struggle daily... asking myself if I'm doing enough, if I've shown enough love to everyone, if I've been maintaining my home enough, if I've cooked enough... At the end of the day, I am enough. I might not feel like it all the time, but my kids still love me despite my screw ups, melt downs, freak outs, fits, crying, etc. I'm enough, and you are too. God designed us the way He did for a reason, and I'm really trying to learn to appreciate the way He designed us to be as mother's. We all love our kids, and we all want to do what's best for them. So here's to doing our very best, here's to messing up sometimes, here's to feeling lost. Here's to all the mom's out there who parent differently than I do. Let's build each other up, friends.

Anyway... end rant... at this point post-partum, everything is slowly getting back to normal. I won't tell you all where I'm at with the weight loss part of it. Let's just say that breast feeding has served me well this time. :) I am definitely feeling like my body is getting back to normal. My body still feels fatigued for sure, but I've healed very quickly this time. Still healing, I'm sure, but it seems like it's gone way quicker, and I do think it's because of my awesomely easy delivery.

Anyhow, like I said, breast feeding has gone VERY well this time. I've exclusively breast fed Macie for four weeks now. That might not seem like a huge accomplishment to some, but for me that's HUGE. My other two were both on formula by this point, or in Annie's case, supplementing because my supply was low and wouldn't recover. That was due to a variety of reason, some my fault. Having done a lot more research on successful breast feeding and implementing some changes in my habits, we've been very successful thus far. She did have one bottle... I gave her 3 oz of pumped colostrum the other day because she had a cold and I wanted her to get all the nutrients and antibodies from it. She took the bottle very well once she realized she got something from the nasty plastic nipple. It hasn't affected my supply whatsoever, and I'm getting quite the surplus of frozen milk in the freezer this time! Yay!! So... yeah. It's going well, she seems to be gaining weight. Not as quickly as the other two, but she was so much smaller than my other babies and she isn't getting formula baby chubs like they did.

But yeah... there you have it. How we're doing after the first 4 weeks with three babies. Doing as well as expected! Thanks for reading my friends, thank you for caring, and thank you for all of your prayers for us as we're transitioning, and thank you to those who've been so helpful to us. AND thank you to all of our lovely friends and family for the awesome gifts you've given little Macie. We are so blessed to have such generous friends and family. God bless you all!!

Our first three weeks...

Since my due date has come and gone, I've been reflecting a lot on the last few weeks... and even still on my delivery.

Something I've come to realize is that labor doesn't have to be crazy painful... Maybe I legitimately lucked out and the pain was really not as bad as last time. But I truly believe that learning to get yourself into a deep focus on relaxation, you allow yourself to go with the contractions rather than fighting them. That can make a huge difference in the level of pain you experience during labor. I'm thinking that my intense focus and relaxation was probably why the lady at the front desk took her sweet time checking us in. Nobody realized how close I was to delivery... Not even me! I took us all by surprise! I really think that I experienced far less pain this time than when I delivered Annie. I did not fight my labor with Macie whatsoever, and even pushing wasn't as painful. It was more work than anything else... I don't remember experiencing an intense amount of pain during the pushing stage, and that was truly amazing to me... even in the moment I remember thinking that it hurt worse last time. Obviously I'd be lying if I said it was completely painless, but for some reason it was far less painful than my last delivery. The contractions felt worse than the pushing stage, quite honestly!!

SO.... here's to all the moms out there about to give birth... My best advice to you if you're attempting a drug free delivery, don't fight your contractions. Focus on enjoying them... Ina May said it so perfectly in her book when she said something to the effect of, "You only get to experience labor so many times in your life, might as well enjoy it!!" Basically, try and keep things light. Don't worry, you will have moments of panic, that's normal, but it really does help you to relax if you focus on enjoying your labor! Also, it's a good thing to practice relaxing every muscle in your body before you go into labor. I found this REALLY helped me a lot. When I labored that last little bit in the car, I focused on literally turning into a blob. Relax yourself into a blob-like state... Seriously it works. Anytime I noticed myself tensing up anywhere, I noticed my level of pain increasing... so as hard as it was sometimes, I made myself relax wherever I was tense. Practice this!! It's very beneficial. Otherwise, just pray and encourage yourself. That's important too. Oh... And read some books! I highly recommend "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth," as well as her other book "Spiritual Midwifery." They are very hippy-ish reads, so remember that going into it, but they have so much good information packed into them.

As far as our first three weeks have gone, let me just say that I'd be lying if I said it's been easy on us. It hasn't been ridiculously difficult by any means, but I've really had a lot of challenges... mostly with making sure I relax, don't overdo it with the housework and taking care of the big kids, and getting enough sleep. Oh yeah... and that part about my kids really acting out.

Don't get me wrong, my kids aren't being total terrors, they just aren't themselves and that's to be expected. Joey has taken on an "authoritative" type role with his sisters... It's great that he takes it upon himself to help me, but sometimes he's been a little too helpful. Like when it comes to disciplining Annie (which usually ends in a big brawl, some time in "time out," and even some toys being taken away) or when he decides to help with the housework (which usually ends in a bigger mess for me and a very irritated mama which makes me feel like crap because he was only trying to be helpful)(poor guy... bless his sweet heart!!). Anyway... Joey absolutely loves our new baby, but he really needs to let mommy handle the parenting. Annie however, while she absolutely adores our new baby, she is clearly struggling with sharing her mommy. Totally understandable, and I expected that. I just didn't expect it to be so hard on me.

That's a whole other struggle... my emotional stability. Yes... I'll say it... I may have been a little unstable at times and can snap very quickly and easily. I try to remain calm and patient, but it really irks me when I'm feeding the baby and all hell breaks loose when there's nothing I can do about it and Jeff isn't home. Not fun... and then I feel terrible for over reacting and turning into a basket case. My poor kids. They are so forgiving of me. I just love them so so so so so much, and it hurts when I feel like all I do is discipline and say "no" all day long.

There are parts that have been easier for sure... obviously caring for baby. I have a lot more patience for that this time around, and I feel very confident in my ability to care for a newborn, so that helps a ton. I have also found it easier to transition because I recalled a few things to expect to happen again. For example, feeling like I'm neglecting my older kids. Going from total attention on my big kids, to almost complete attention on baby sometimes hurts my heart and I feel like I'm ignoring my other little loves. That really really hurts, but remembering that I felt like that last time and everything turned out totally fine has really helped me to cope. Also, when I was pregnant with Annie, I worried so much that I was taking away the special time I had with Joey and giving it all to Annie.. Then I also worried for some reason that I wouldn't have the same affection or relationship with Annie. That...my friends.... Is a ridiculous thing to worry about. None of those worries were worth my time, because no matter how many children you have, you truly love them all the same. Your heart just grows each time another baby is born. It's incredible. Soooooo anyway...remembering those things and going through the transition last time definitely helped me prepare for a smoother transition this time.

All in all, I really can't complain. Yes, it's been tough, I'm absolutely exhausted all the time, there isn't enough time in my day, my house work has taken a back seat, and I'm struggling to keep up with the cooking. Oh yeah, I'm lucky if I can get a shower by 1pm anymore. But... There are a lot of things that have been easier just since I now have a bit of experience under my belt. Practice makes perfect, that's for sure.

Breast feeding is also going a lot better this time. Macie has not had a bottle yet which is a huge accomplishment for me, and she seems to be getting plenty of milk from me which absolutely wasn't the case the last two times I've been down this road. I'm feeling very good about things, and I hope we can make it another month before trying a bottle.

Anyway... That's where things are at for us. Going fairly well! Still taking it one day at a time. Hopefully we will continue to find more balance in the coming weeks. In the mean time, I will continue to bask in the blessings that God has given us, and just enjoy life! Thanks for reading my dear friends! Hope everyone is having a blessed beginning to this wonderful fall season!

PS- I apologize for any errors or funky auto corrects. I'm on my phone because my computer is always dead.

Macie Lee's Birth!!

I am still having a hard time believing that I have another baby girl in my arms right now!! At 3:35 am on August 31st, 2013 an intense sweetness filled the delivery room as I brought a beautiful baby girl into the world!! She was 6 lbs 8 oz, 19.5 inches long, and wow did she make an entrance... A lot of people have been wanting to know the details, so I'll lay them all out now.

Not going to lie, everything about this delivery caught me by surprise. People are going to think I'm ridiculous for saying this, but part of me felt a little cheated initially because I hardly had time to process that I was even in labor until it finally felt real to me about 30 minutes before Macie was born. Also, I was not at all expecting to start labor until at least week 38-39... My doctor did tell me that he didn't think I'd make it to 38 weeks, but I really thought he was going to be wrong about that. Needless to say, I was very caught off guard when it really did happen that early!!

I had spent so much time in the months leading up to that moment, just preparing and praying... and envisioning how I wanted everything to go. For some reason my anxiety about giving birth again was extremely difficult to handle. The one thing I prayed for consistently was that God would bring me faith. Faith that He would have His hand on us, and that He would bring me peace and comfort that everything would go perfectly as planned. Why I was so anxious about it? I have no idea. But He sure brought me faith... not only in Him, but literally.

So... sometime around 1:15 am on the 31st, I woke up feeling a slight "trickle" and I thought maybe I was peeing... or that maybe my water was breaking. As I walked to the bathroom, it became evident that I didn't have much control over keeping this fluid in... Confused by the small amount and the fact that there wasn't any more leaking, I called Jeff and told him that my water may have broken, and to be ready to leave work in case things started to pick up soon. I called his mom (Jill) and sister (Jamie), unsure of a course of action at that point. We decided to go ahead and call labor and delivery to see what to do since SUPER mild contractions had started about 25 minutes after I suspected my water had broken (around 1:40 am). They started out about 20-30 seconds long and about 1.5 minutes apart. They were so mild that they required no focus or attention whatsoever. (I was literally standing up in the bathroom doing my hair while having these contractions). When I made the call, the nurse wasn't quite sure what to have me do other than to wait it out, see if contractions started coming on stronger, longer, and closer together, or if more fluid started leaking... I told her over the phone when I'd have contractions, so we both thought maybe it was still pretty early if it was indeed labor... and typically when one's water breaks it will continue to gush out during a contraction or when baby moves. That did not happen for me at all because Macie's head basically acted as a cork which was why I was so confused as to whether or not my water had broken.

I got off the phone, called Jeff and his mom and told them I would wait for about 20-30 minutes (until around 2:15am-2:30am) and see where things were. Well... needless to say I decided if things were getting real, I better get my crap together. So, after doing my hair, throwing stuff in my bag, getting things out of my car, and tidying up a bit, my contractions started becoming more noticeable. By the time I had everything together they were stopping me and demanding that I at least breathe through them. A great sign that labor was beginning... however, their timing was still so off. They lasted about 45-50 seconds at that point, and were about 2 minutes apart. Mine were getting longer, stronger, and further apart... weird... nothing like my previous labor.

At about 2:25 am I decided it was probably time to get checked out, despite my desire to wait it out for contractions to get into a more regular pattern. They were definitely uncomfortable and required some focus, but they weren't anything like I remember them being when I was deep in the throws of labor land with Annie. Regardless, I felt like I needed to be safe and get antibiotics going (I was GBS+ this time), and I think everyone else felt better about going in as well. With my last labor being around 4 hours, it was a good idea to be cautious. So I called Jamie and Jill and they arrived a few minutes later. Jeff's dad also came up to stay with the kids so we didn't have to wake them up, which was soooooo awesome!!

So off we went... I sat in the back seat with Jamie, who was a wonderful personal assistant... making phone calls, timing contractions, giving directions, she was awesome! We got about halfway to Monroe before the contractions started getting pretty intense. They weren't super consistent yet (they were getting there), ranging from 4-5 minutes apart I believe, but they were consistently around 90 seconds long. I had also noticed a bit of nausea and shakiness... that gave me some anxiety because I hate throwing up, especially in the car, and ESPECIALLY in labor. At that point, I decided I didn't want to be checked for dilation because I didn't want to be disappointed if I was only 4 cm and that uncomfortable already, and I didn't want to introduce bacteria to the baby if my waters had really broken. When the water bag is no longer in tact, contractions are typically stronger than when the water bag remains intact, so that made me nervous that I was in for a longer more intense labor this time.

I continued laboring by leaning over the back of the seat on my hands and knees, breathing through the contractions, all while focusing on relaxing every muscle that I could feel getting tense. Tension=pain... This really helped a lot... made things manageable. By the time we got outside of Monroe, I could feel the baby's head descending which caused a lot of pressure. I felt this more and more with each contraction. I was really starting to get a little nervous that my labor would drag on and the pain would get unbearable... so I prayed that God would have mercy and make the delivery a quick one because I was starting to doubt my ability to birth naturally at that point. (Classic signs of transition by the way). I think since I was so focused on the job at hand and staying relaxed, I was unable to recognize how close I really was to being done.. I was shocked at how much better I was at staying relaxed this time.

When we pulled up to the maternity center, Jeff was waiting at the door, and I think Amber (friend and fabulous photographer) was there waiting too. It got a little foggy at this point because things got really intense crazy fast... so my account may not be completely accurate. I grabbed my phone, got out of the car and raced through the doors in order to beat the contraction that was coming on... I may have had a mild melt down because I didn't remember where to go at that point and I didn't want to have a contraction right there in the lobby, but a nurse came out and I bolted over to her. I totally forgot we had to check in, so that kind of pissed me off a little bit that we had to stop. (Just as a reference, we checked in at 3:29 am). I felt really bad for the lady at the desk because I got a bit snippy with her.

After I made it through a couple contractions and scribbled on a consent form, they asked if I needed a wheel chair. Ignoring her question, I just asked for a room number... So Jeff answered for me and said we'd better get a wheel chair. Again, I asked for a room number... as she told me, I saw someone with the wheelchair coming down the hall in the distance, and I did not feel like waiting. I asked the nurse where to go and I was gone. I went in, hopped up on the bed, had a really tough contraction, and then the nurse asked to check me and see if she could monitor the baby for a minute. I was reluctant to say yes, but I felt a lot closer at that point so I consented to the cervical check. Sometime in there, I asked for a shot of nubain and for someone to run me a bath so I could maintain some sanity. It was really getting intense... Monitoring didn't really happen at that point, and when the nurse checked me and said I was at 7 cm, I was slightly irritated. I also decided that laying on my back was totally not happening... I could feel the baby's every move and it made the contractions far more painful. So I flipped back over on my knees, leaned my head against the back of the bed, and continued focusing on relaxing and letting the contractions do the work for me. It felt ten times better that way.

Not more than a minute or two later, my body started pushing... which was crazy because the nurse had JUST told me I was 7 cm... So somehow I went from 7 cm to complete in just a minute or two. So... I pushed. Nothing was ready, and I'm pretty sure there was a lot of scrambling going on behind me, but as the nurse asked me to try not to push, out came her head and soon to follow was the rest of her body.  So, at 3:35 am (6 minutes after arriving at the hospital!!) we had our second baby girl! Most amazing feeling of relief ever in my life. I think I sat there on my knees for a second, completely in shock. Macie had the cord wrapped once around her neck, so the nurse unwrapped the cord and I think she rubbed her down a bit to get her to cry and start breathing before handing her up to me. As soon as I had my baby Macie in my arms, the only thing I could do was laugh and cry at the same time... I could not believe that had just happened so fast. Seriously, nothing was set up, there were two nurses in the room, and no doctor in sight. It was awesome! A very beautiful moment! I loved that they let us just sit and soak in the moment before checking me over after birth.

Seriously, looking back, I couldn't have asked for a better experience. It was too much to process in the moment, but it was great having the opportunity to allow everything to happen completely naturally and to be able to do everything I needed to do to make myself the most comfortable. It was my birth center type experience in a hospital. It was truly amazing. I had so much love and support in the room, and that made it so much more special.

After a few minutes, the doctor came in and examined me. This part was not at all fun. Since I have a history of excessive blood loss, they decided to play it safe. The nurse gave me a shot of pitocin to keep contractions coming and to help keep my uterus nice and firm. After the placenta was delivered, the doctor had to remove a clot which was very painful, but as soon as she had the little bit of bleeding under control I was able to relax and enjoy our new baby.

As soon as she left, the nurses got everything all cleaned up while we all got a good look at our little princess. It was such a sweet time. I will never forget how crazy awesome that night was... Quite a story indeed. God was sooo good to me. He truly answered my prayers for mercy... as well as my prayers for faith. Not only did my faith grow in Him, I found out later that the nurse who delivered Macie was named Faith. I couldn't believe how crazy awesome that was. That delivery could not have gone more perfectly.

All is perfect in our little world right now. It feels like Macie has been here forever. Can't imagine our family without her. The kids are really loving their new sister! Joey is very excited about her. Annabelle was a little unsure about her initially, but she warmed up to her very quickly and is such a great sister. I feel so incredibly blessed to have had such a great birth experience. I'm just so in awe of how God designed our bodies to bring these precious tiny humans into the world. It's absolutely amazing to me. Almost two weeks later and I'm still enjoying this birth high!

Anyway... there you have it!! Macie Lee's crazy awesome birth!! Thank you, friends, for following my updates and being so excited with me. It's so much easier to get through pregnancy and birth knowing you have so many behind you who love and support you. I'm truly grateful for everyone who helped me throughout the last 9 months, but I am the most grateful to God for bringing me through my third pregnancy with good health and a healthy little baby. I am so incredibly blessed. Thank you for reading my friends!! God bless you!!

PS- Stay tuned for my delivery picture post!! Don't worry, I'm not posting graphic images... just the modest ones, as well as the first pictures of our little Macie Lee. SO excited to share them!! :)